By Vika Miller
(NOTE: To download a list of feelings and needs, as well as the 12 Universal Life-Need Categories, click here.)
One of the most important contributions of Marshall Rosenberg’s work on Nonviolent Communication is the realization that our feelings are merely indicators, letting us know when our Life-Needs are being met, and when they are going unmet.
The following is a partial list of words we can use to describe our feelings/emotions and physical sensations. This list is neither complete nor definitive. It’s simply offered as a starting point, to support anyone who’d like to travel further down The Road to Happiness (which is the road to THRIVING, aliveness, vibrant health, joy, fulfillment) by understanding the guidance — towards happiness — that our feelings are trying to give us.
Connecting fully with our PRESENT EXPERIENCE (whether positive or negative) is the single most valuable, effective strategy for creating a beautiful, life-giving connection with ourselves, with others, and with Life Itself (=God, Goddess, Universe … & any other name you might prefer).
In particular, when we feel discomfort or distress, connecting fully with that “negative” experience, becoming clear about what our unmet needs are, and then imagining what it would be like to have those needs fully met seems to be the quickest, most effective way to release our discomfort or distress. (Notice that nothing outside us needs to change, and that no one else needs to do anything different, in order for us to have access to this extraordinarily powerful, effective source of relief, comfort, and nourishment.)
There are two parts to this list: feelings we may have when our needs are being met, and feelings we may have when our needs are not being met. NOTE: Many feelings can go under several different categories; these groupings are offered as one way to help you more easily find the feelings that best describe what you’re experiencing. FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THIS LIST, as you discover feelings that come up for you that aren’t yet included.
One final note: we find that PEACE is always present, when our needs are met, or we feel confident that our needs will be met. If we feel happy but not peaceful (for example, happy and anxious), then whatever is going on is not genuinely meeting our needs.
For More Support
Got questions? Looking for a practice group? Have an inspiring story to share? We love to hear about your progress! Click Here to contact us.
FEELINGS When Your Needs ARE Met
| AFFECTIONATE compassionate friendly loving open hearted sympathetic tender warmCONFIDENT empowered open proud safe secureENGAGED absorbed alert curious engrossed enchanted entranced fascinated interested intrigued involved spellbound stimulatedINSPIRED amazed awed wonder
|
EXCITED amazed animated ardent aroused astonished dazzled eager energetic enthusiastic giddy invigorated lively passionate surprised vibrantEXHILARATED blissful ecstatic elated enthralled exuberant radiant rapturous thrilledGRATEFUL appreciative moved thankful touchedHOPEFUL expectant encouraged optimistic
|
JOYFUL amused delighted glad happy jubilant pleased tickledPEACEFUL calm clear headed comfortable centered content equanimous fulfilled mellow quiet relaxed relieved satisfied serene still tranquil trustingREFRESHED enlivened rejuvenated renewed rested restored revived |
Feelings When Your Needs Are Met © 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication www.cnvc.org cnvc@cnvc.org 818-957-9393
FEELINGS When Your Needs Are NOT Met
| AFRAID apprehensive dread foreboding frightened panicked petrified scared suspicious terrified wary worried anxious tenseANNOYED aggravated dismayed disgruntled displeased exasperated frustrated impatient irritated crankyANGRY enraged furious incensed indignant irate livid outraged resentfulCONFUSED ambivalent baffled bewildered dazed hesitant lost mystified perplexed puzzled torn EMBARRASSED |
AVERSION animosity appalled contempt disgusted dislike hate horrified hostile repulsedYEARNING envious jealous longing nostalgic pining wistfulDISQUIET agitated alarmed discombobulated disconcerted disturbed distressed perturbed rattled edgy restless shocked startled surprised troubled uncomfortable uneasy unsettled upsetFATIGUE beat burnt out depleted exhausted lethargic listless sleepy tired weary worn out |
PAIN agony anguished bereaved devastated grief heartbroken hurt lonely miserable regretSAD hopeless depressed dejected despair despondent disappointed discouraged disheartened forlorn gloomy heavy hearted hopeless unhappyVULNERABLE fragile guarded helpless insecure leery reserved sensitive shakyDISCONNECTED alienated aloof apathetic bored cold detached distant distracted indifferent numb removed uninterested withdrawn
|
Feelings When Your Needs Are NOT Met © 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication www.cnvc.org cnvc@cnvc.org 818-957-9393